ROOTS
"...Cause life is like a slideshow: all the places that I go and all I the things that I know, through all the highs and low."
Hello, y'all!
It's been a while since I've done a life update post. So here it is:
IT'S AUGUST. WHERE DID THE SUMMER GO?
Last time I did one of these posts, I was a little, simpy freshmxn, reminiscing about her first year of college. This summer went by really fast, but slow at the same time. I remember ending school, thinking, "Wow! I can finally go home!" However, after one week of being back, I was already ready to go back down to San Diego. Honestly, I have found a home in Southern California.
It's interesting. I have been contemplating a lot about different things lately.
This summer, I have been thinking a lot about the concept of
"home"
The dictionary defines home as:
noun
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2. the place or region where something is native or most common.
3. a person's native or own place.
I mean, those are absolutely correct. Those are the meanings that come to mind first, right?
I am Kaithleen Apostol. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California. That is where my "home" is supposed to be, right?
After being back in the Bay Area this summer, not only have I explored new places, I have revisited my childhood & adolescence. Looking back at fragments of my past, my growth, my roots.
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I grew up by the border of Daly City & San Francisco. I was part of the Bayshore, Sunnydale, & Visitacion Valley neighborhood/district. This part is tucked away in the southern part of town. This is not the glamorous, pretty, wealthy San Francisco that everyone knows about. (Yeah, I know. This completely contradicts my other post, haha!)
San Francisco is often described as
lovely,
beautiful,
cultured.
The reality: many parts of San Francisco are overlooked.
You see, I grew up in one of those parts.
Sunnydale was a community that I lived around. I lived on Pasadena Street, a hill, ending in a cul-de-sac. When you look over the cul-de-sac, you could see this community. It's crazy to say that with all the new construction and changes to the city, this place remains the same.
Tech giants are taking over. Gentrification is real. It pains me to see that there are many communities like these that are ignored. True natives are finding themselves needing to move out due to the raise in rent and the negligence of basic needs and changes to grief-stricken communities.
A prime example is the Mission. "Hipsters" and "techies" are finding themselves moving to the city. Businesses have closed down. Native families have been kicked out. This continuous "beautification" of the city does not consider the opinions of all of its residents. Getting rid of natives = taking away the culture that San Francisco is known for.
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This is a park I used to go to, up the street from Rio Verde around the Bayshore neighborhood. It is part of the Bayshore Community Center. I remember coming here often with my middle school friends after school. Even past middle school, I came here during times of high school stress. I came here to reflect and meditate. Something about Bayshore exhilarates me, all the time. Whenever I'd go to this park, it felt as if all my problems went away.
(FUN FACT: There is this dream of mine. I don't know. It's a little silly, but one day, I want to build and run a community center with my best friends. Just like this one. Bayshore has inspired and done so much for me. I want to give back to the community and provide resources to allow children to grow and learn more about what they're passionate about. Access is important. Bayshore helped me get past my comfort zone. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for that after school choir program. Shout out to you Mr. Dyson!)
What I love about the Bayshore Community is that it continues to be small and close-knit. I met some of my greatest friends in this community. I've known my best friend since kindergarten, having met in Bayshore Elementary. The crew I still look for whenever I go back for vacation, I met them during my middle school years at Garnet Robertson Intermediate School. Although we've all gone our separate ways, there are people I know I can hit up any time and catch up over some ice cream from Lucky Bakery. Some of my greatest mentors are products of this community and they continue to encourage and support me. To tell the truth, there were times when I'd think, "I'm tired of this place. I've seen the same things and people for so long. I want to leave!" After actually leaving this community and looking back, I'm glad to say this is where I grew up.
We've struggled together as a community,
but
We've also celebrated success together.
From having local music artists to sending various athletes to high-ranked universities, this community has helped socialize driven individuals.
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Moving away to the picturesque, wealthy city of La Jolla, made me realize the importance of checking one's privilege.
I remember the first months of college, feeling like I did not belong. It felt like everyone around me came from schools that offered them many resources to succeed. Graduating from IB schools and getting the preparation they needed to have access to higher education, everyone else seemed more qualified and worthy of being at a prestigious university. Don't get me wrong-- I love Burton. I was able to excel and open my mind to many diverse people, opinions, and concepts. However, I felt like I was not ready for college. It was as if my peers all came from more well-off communities.
However, I have slowly realized that I am worthy and that I am forever grateful. I've met many people who have shared their different stories of struggle and success. Coming out of the communities they grew up in. Some even having similar experiences as me. Everyone made it here for a reason.
Living at this intersection has done a lot for me. I have instilled important values from these communities. These values have allowed me to flourish in this new environment.
I have found myself being infatuated with a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that La Jolla offers. This new city has won me over.
La Jolla has become another "home"
4. any place of refuge: a heavenly home.
It is the place where I will continue to thrive and learn. It offers all I need to grow more as a person. It is place where I am finding a new community to help me create my success story.
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I've come to realize that "home" can be many things. As I grow older, "home" multiplies.
It becomes not only a place, but a group of people.
Not only a concept, but a reason.
And although, La Jolla has this Bay Area girl head over heels,
my roots will always belong to the intersection of "Baysho," "Sunnydaaaaaale!" & "Vis"
Sincerely,
Kaithleen
Photography credit to Christian Asido (@just_asido).
This post was inspired by a Instagram series created by my dear friend, Marielle Concejo (@chama.kay).